STUDENT TEACHER
After Parkland, no matter what channel you were on, you kept seeing stories about those teachers who were total heroes. They literally died for their students, and that’s amazing.
(Beat.)
I came here to student teach math–for nine weeks. I need it for my certification. I started yesterday. And now I’m supposed to die for you?
(Beat.)
No offense, but I think I know like three of your names so far.
(Pointing at one student:)
You got a five out of five on the pop quiz, so I guess I’d die for you, and
(Pointing at another student:)
you had a good answer for that question about the angles of an isosceles triangle, so maybe you too, but you–
(Pointing at another student:)
and maybe you’re totally great–so far you haven’t participated at all, and I could see you drawing a dog pissing [peeing] on afire hydrant while that girl with purple hair was explaining sine and cosine at the whiteboard. I’ve seen better peeing dogs. But it’s only been two days–not even two days–and maybe in nine weeks you’ll be my favorite student. Probably not, though.
(Beat.)
I kinda’ just thought I’d see how I liked teaching, worst case scenario maybe get food poisoning once or twice from what appears to be your less than stellar cafeteria food. I didn’t expect to have to consider whether I’d take your bullet today. Maybe I should have.
(Beat.)