BO
I’ve got a plan.
MORGAN
What’s the plan?
BO
This is just something I do for money. Some people work at Starbucks–I do this. I’m done by three, and then I’ve got the rest of my day free.
MORGAN
To implement the plan.
BO
Right.
MORGAN
Which is what?
BO
I’m in a band.
MORGAN
And that’s the plan?
BO
What’s wrong with that?
MORGAN
Did I say anything?
BO
You think loudly. You’re about to ask what my Plan B is.
MORGAN
I was going to ask the name of your band.
BO
Puppies on Parade.
MORGAN
That’s cute.
BO
It’s ironic.
MORGAN
(Beat.)
So…you’re in Puppies on Parade.
BO
(Beat.)
We’re alt rock emo pop.
MORGAN
I have no idea what that is.
BO
I play lead guitar.
MORGAN
You’re the lead guitarist of Puppies on Parade. Puppies on Parade. Puppies–I like saying the–
BO
I can tell.
MORGAN
Do you ever have competitions–you and the other members of Puppies on Parade–to see who can say it the most times fast without messing up the–
BO
No.
(Beat.)
So, we’re recording our first album.
MORGAN
Exciting. When’s it coming out?
BO
Well, we’re still writing it. Our drummer got switched to the night shift a couple months ago, so we’re kind of working that out.
MORGAN
Statistically, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning during a terrorist attack while juggling hamsters than making it big as the lead guitarist of Puppies of Parade.
BO
So? Maybe I’m happy with this. Maybe I like playing music with my friends and having a job I don’t have to think about after three o’clock, and maybe for now, that’s enough. Not everybody wants to be on this pre-programmed death march through life. So what if we’ve never broken 12 likes on Instagram and we’ve made all of a buck ninety-nine from Spotify–if it’s enough for me, who cares what you think? At least I’m honest about it.
MORGAN
I’m honest.
BO
Uh-huh.
MORGAN
You don’t know anything about me.
BO
I know you have a tell.
(Beat.)
MORGAN
Fine. You want to know? I’m not a Quiz Bowler. I was–until I became the first co-captain in team history to be removed after a no-confidence vote.
BO
I don’t even know what that is.
MORGAN
My GPA is crumbling–last week it slipped to 3.97.
BO
…
MORGAN
As a junior, it’s too late to rise to a leadership position in an established school-sanctioned organization, sports team management is most definitely not a match for my skill set, and by the time I applied, every other internship was taken. But I don’t need your pity: By the time I’m through, this internship is going to be the centerpiece of my college applications.
(Beat.)
I can’t spin a sign to save my life.
(Beat.)
Aren’t you going to say something?
BO
Honestly, you’re pretty much the worst sign spinner I’ve ever seen.