RIOT, a theatre kid of any gender, in a spotlight, or wherever.
RIOT
Shakespeare and the Greeks, authors of some of the greatest plays ever written. Also, some of the most disturbing plays ever written. The sordid highlights:
Sacrificing your daughter.
Murdering your husband.
Murdering your father.
Murdering your mother.
Murdering your brother.
Murdering your children.
Murdering other people’s children.
Sleeping with your mother.
Putting your eyes out.
Putting someone else’s eyes out.
Cutting someone’s tongue out.
Sealing someone in a cave.
Seducing a widow over her husband’s corpse.
Suicide by poison, suicide by snake bite, suicide by dagger and sword, rape, decapitation, madness and my all-time favorite, baking children into a pie and serving them to their mother.
(Beat.)
Many of these things happen more than once–sometimes a lot more. Tons of fratricide and infanticide, and matricide isn’t far behind. I think there was just one pie.
(Beat.)
But through all the murders and maimings, nobody ever goes to the bathroom. The closest we get is Lady MacBeth washing her hands. And she didn’t even go. She just can’t get the imaginary blood off.
(Beat.)
I know there’s only so much time, but is that the real reason? Or do bathroom scenes make us uncomfortable?
(Channeling Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men:)
You want the bathroom? You can’t handle the bathroom.
(Beat.)
What are we afraid of that even our most revered playwrights are running scared of this one place? I know what you’re gonna say: “What about Urinetown? It’s not Shakespeare, but it’s all about pee!” One pee-centric show doesn’t make up for centuries of creative constipation. Talk to me when we’re on Urinetown, the Sequel…to the sequel…to the sequel…
(Beat.)
Maybe the problem is this: We need to stop looking at the bathroom as something that happens at intermission. As a break. Think of it as an opportunity to bring out our best. I want to see people laugh and cry, be vulnerable and have magical moments…in bathrooms. Tell me you don’t want that too. I’ll wait.