Corporate Mommy

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Corporate Mommy, together with Corporate Daddy, runs a shadowy corporation that has turned Oliver Twist into a burned-out pitchman for juicers and cereal, and employs homicidal fairy tale character hit squads. In a community theatre or professional production, she could be anywhere from her mid-thirties or older, but it’s also possible for a high school, college or even middle school student to do the role. In this monologue, she describes her only encounter with Oliver Twist. Run Like the Dickens (aka Tiny Tim Runs the Marathon) is published by Playscripts. Click here to order a copy.

(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way)

CORPORATE MOMMY

I only met him the once. The day he came in to sign the papers. He’s one of those people who looks very much like he does in his photos, very much like he does on television. He’s not imposing. Just real. A real human being. And as I walk in to the conference room, he stands and our eyes meet.

There’s something not quite sad about them, just below the surface, like if you scraped off the cornea, it would all come crying out.

(Beat.)

I almost want to hug him. No—I want to kiss his forehead, because I can tell in an instant that he’s a good person. I am struck by the goodness of him, and good people deserve a kiss on the forehead before we betray them. I still feel badly about that kiss, because as this boy walks out, I say to myself, “He will make you rich, and all he gets is a few coins. He doesn’t even get a kiss.”

(Beat.)

Almost keeps me awake sometimes.