EMILY
He went full ninja.
TASHA
On the watermelon.
EMILY
He tried to go full ninja.
JASON
I have no clue what you’re talking about.
TASHA
He screamed loud enough.
EMILY
I’d call it half ninja.
TASHA
Ninja in training. Real ninja doesn’t slip on watermelon guts and face-plant.
JASON
When did this happen?
EMILY
(Finishing Tasha’s thought:)
At least not into the watermelon.
TASHA
(Beat.)
You really don’t remember this?
JASON
I really don’t.
EMILY
Seriously?
JASON
Seriously.
EMILY
Tasha?
TASHA
(Looking through her phone:)
One sec…
(Finding the picture:)
This.
JASON
Ohhhh…
EMILY
Remember now?
JASON
How did I forget that?
EMILY
Seventh grade.
JASON
That explains it.
TASHA
Yeah. My seventh grade was a picnic compared to yours, and I still had to block out a whole month.
EMILY
Only a month?
JASON
Yeah. He made my life craptacular on a daily basis.
TASHA
But that face-plant.
JASON
The watermelon did what all the kids who hadn’t hit puberty yet wanted to do all year.
EMILY
It gave its guts to save us all.
TASHA
Let’s not go overboard.
JASON
That was pretty awesome, though. Too bad it happened in May instead of September. Maybe the year wouldn’t have been such a horror story.
EMILY
Truth.
JASON
(Beat.)
So did Throwback Thursday move to Tuesday?
EMILY
Tasha saw him. He works at the library over in [name of a nearby town].
TASHA
Not works. Volunteers.
JASON
Why were you at the [name of nearby town above] library?
TASHA
‘Cause I like it. ‘Cause I can study there without running into people I know and then not getting anything done.
EMILY
It’s nicer than ours anyway. I should go there.
TASHA
Then we’d talk the whole time. Find your own weird library.
EMILY
Fine.
JASON
He didn’t seem like the library type.
TASHA
He lives with his grandma since his parents split up. She gets really bad arthritis sometimes, so he does most of the cooking and the laundry and such.
JASON
He told you all this?
TASHA
He seems really…
JASON
What?
TASHA
Sweet. He was telling me about this story hour he does for the kindergarten every Friday afternoon.
JASON
So he’s like a saint now. Who cooks and cleans.
TASHA
Didn’t say he did the cleaning.
EMILY
He probably has to if his grandma’s arthritis acts up.
TASHA
Probably.
(Beat.)
He says he blew up a copy of the watermelon picture and hung it over his bed.
JASON
That’s a little weird.
TASHA
Anytime he gets angry about something, he just looks up at that pic of him facedown in a watermelon with half the seventh grade in the background crying they’re laughing so hard…
EMILY
It’s kind of cool he owned it.
JASON
I guess.
TASHA
Come on, Jason.
JASON
What?
TASHA
Let it go.
JASON
Do you want me to remember or let it go?
TASHA
Why can’t you do both?
EMILY
Truth.
TASHA
You should meet him sometime.
JASON
Sounds like you like him.
EMILY
Maybe you should bring him a big juicy watermelon.
TASHA
I think he’d be good with that.