Free Scenes - Watermelon Face-Plant

From Me, My Selfie & I


Three teens--Emily Jason and Tasha--are hanging together. Emily has her phone out. Me, My Selfie and I will be published by YouthPLAYS after its premiere in Fall 2017.

(Warning: Using this scene without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.) 

EMILY
He went full ninja.

TASHA
On the watermelon.

EMILY
He tried to go full ninja.

JASON
I have no clue what you’re talking about.

TASHA
He screamed loud enough.

EMILY
I’d call it half ninja.

TASHA
Ninja in training. Real ninja doesn’t slip on watermelon guts and face-plant.

JASON
When did this happen?

EMILY
(Finishing Tasha’s thought:)
At least not into the watermelon.

TASHA
(Beat.)
You really don’t remember this?

JASON
I really don’t.

EMILY
Seriously?

JASON
Seriously.

EMILY
Tasha?

TASHA
(Looking through her phone:)
One sec...
(Finding the picture:)
This.

JASON
Ohhhh...

EMILY
Remember now?

JASON
How did I forget that?

EMILY
Seventh grade.

JASON
That explains it.

TASHA
Yeah. My seventh grade was a picnic compared to yours, and I still had to block out a whole month.

EMILY
Only a month?

JASON
Yeah. He made my life craptacular on a daily basis.

TASHA
But that face-plant.

JASON
The watermelon did what all the kids who hadn’t hit puberty yet wanted to do all year.

EMILY
It gave its guts to save us all.

TASHA
Let’s not go overboard.

JASON
That was pretty awesome, though. Too bad it happened in May instead of September. Maybe the year wouldn’t have been such a horror story.

EMILY
Truth.

JASON
(Beat.)
So did Throwback Thursday move to Tuesday?

EMILY
Tasha saw him. He works at the library over in [name of a nearby town].

TASHA
Not works. Volunteers.

JASON
Why were you at the [name of nearby town above] library?

TASHA
‘Cause I like it. ‘Cause I can study there without running into people I know and then not getting anything done.

EMILY
It’s nicer than ours anyway. I should go there.

TASHA
Then we’d talk the whole time. Find your own weird library.

EMILY
Fine.

JASON
He didn’t seem like the library type.

TASHA
He lives with his grandma since his parents split up. She gets really bad arthritis sometimes, so he does most of the cooking and the laundry and such.

JASON
He told you all this?

TASHA
He seems really...

JASON
What?

TASHA
Sweet. He was telling me about this story hour he does for the kindergarten every Friday afternoon.

JASON
So he’s like a saint now. Who cooks and cleans.

TASHA
Didn’t say he did the cleaning.

EMILY
He probably has to if his grandma’s arthritis acts up.

TASHA
Probably.
(Beat.)
He says he blew up a copy of the watermelon picture and hung it over his bed.

JASON
That’s a little weird.

TASHA
Anytime he gets angry about something, he just looks up at that pic of him facedown in a watermelon with half the seventh grade in the background crying they’re laughing so hard...

EMILY
It’s kind of cool he owned it.

JASON
I guess.

TASHA
Come on, Jason.

JASON
What?

TASHA
Let it go.

JASON
Do you want me to remember or let it go?

TASHA
Why can’t you do both?

EMILY
Truth.

TASHA
You should meet him sometime.

JASON
Sounds like you like him.

EMILY
Maybe you should bring him a big juicy watermelon.

TASHA
I think he’d be good with that.
 
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, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

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Recent News
World Premiere!!!
Me, My Selfie & I co-premiered at Lompoc High School (Lompoc, CA) and Westmont High School (Campbell, CA) at the end of September. This one-act with a flexible cast introduces us to a group of teens as they struggle to find the balance between documenting their lives and living them. 
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The Midnight Club is Now Published!
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Upcoming Productions
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
KVCS Winslow Public School (Waterville, ME), November 2017
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Bethel High School (Hampton, VA), November 2017
 
4 A.M.
Starkville Academy (Starkville, MS), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Monte Vista Christian (Watsonville, CA), December 2017
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Tennessee High School (Bristol, TN), December 2017
 
Twisting Carol
EDHS Theatre (Placentia, CA), December 2017
 
From Shakespeare with Love?
Millennium Charter Academy High School (Mount Airy, NC), December 2017
 
Vital Organs
Coe-Brown Northwood Academy (Northwood, NH), December 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Nadia's Performance Studio (Wetherill Park, NSW, Australia), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Harding Middle School (Lakewood, OH), December 2017
 
After Math
Philip Barbour High School (Philippi, WV), December 2017
 
Rumors of Polar Bears (one-act)
Arlington Middle School (Poughkeepsie, NY), December 2017
 
The Midnight Club
Avon Middle High School (Avon, MA), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Lincoln High School (Manitowoc, WI), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck
Syracuse Arts Academy (Syracuse, UT), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Valley Southwoods IHSSA (West Des Moines, IA), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Atholton High School (Columbia, MD), January 2018
 
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
I.S. 75 - United Activities Unlimited (Staten Island, NY), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Garretson Schools (Garretson, SD), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
The Crefeld School (Philadelphia, PA), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Freehold High School (Freehold, NJ), January 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Nevada Theatre Department (Nevada, MO), January 2018
 
The Magic Hour
North Branch High School (North Branch, MI), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Pembina Trails School Division (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Trinity Episcopal (Austin, TX), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Redwood Valley High School (Redwood Falls, MN), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Berkhamsted School (Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom), January 2018
 
After Math
Palmer Ridge High School (Colorado Springs, CO), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Tigard High School (Tigard, OR), February 2018
 
The Magic Hour
Viking Theatre (Rock Hill, SC), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Thurso Players (Caithness, United Kingdom), February 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Montrose Area School District (Montrose, PA), March 2018
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Del Valle High School (Del Valle, TX), April 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Coakley Middle School Drama Club (Norwood, MA), June 2018
 
After Math
Pope John Paul II High School (Hendersonville, TN), November 2018
 
 
Great Expectations, or What I Did On My Summer Vacation: Next up, a ten-minute parody of Great Expectations to be part of YouthPLAYS' upcoming Lit on Fire anthology of high school reading list parodies.
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