Free Scenes - First Date?

From Me, My Selfie & I


Two teens, Mark and Ashley, at a coffee shop with their laptops and books. Me, My Selfie and I will be published by YouthPLAYS after its premiere in Fall 2017.

 
(Warning: Using this scene without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.) 

 
MARK
And that is how you lower carbon emissions in a Third World city to be named later twenty-five percent by 2040 [or an appropriate year for your production]. Boom.

ASHLEY
Well, if you had money and people who would actually do it.

MARK
Yeah. There’s that.

ASHLEY
But boom.

MARK
If we get less than an A...

ASHLEY
We are so getting an A.

MARK
We should definitely be partners again.

ASHLEY
Definitely.

MARK
When?
(Verbalizing his interior monologue to the audience:)
What was that?

ASHLEY
Well, whenever we need partners again, I guess.
(Verbalizing her own:)
“Whenever”? That’s a total blow-off.

MARK
(Verbalizing:)
Talk about the project.

ASHLEY
(Verbalizing:)
Say something nice.

MARK
(Verbalizing:)
You’re good at talking about the project.
(To Ashley:)
The--what do you call the guys who pour the drinks?

ASHLEY
Baristas?

MARK
Yeah, the baristas are good here.

ASHLEY
Yeah.

MARK
(Verbalizing:)
Project! Not baristas. Project!

ASHLEY
(Verbalizing:)
“Yeah”? Seriously? Come on, Ashley!
(Beat. To Mark:)
I love the baristas here.

MARK
I learned a lot about the Third World.

ASHLEY
I love the Third World.
(Verbalizing:)
What?! Are you insane?!

MARK
(Verbalizing:)
Save this save this save this.
(To Ashley:)
Selfie?

ASHLEY
 
 
(Verbalizing:)
Oh no--what do I do?!
(To Mark:)
Heck yeah, selfie!

(Until noted, the conversation shifts back to the characters’ interior monologues.)

MARK
Why did I say that?

ASHLEY
I can’t believe I just said yes.

MARK
She’s going to know.

ASHLEY
He’s going to know.

MARK
OK. Breathe.

ASHLEY
(Reassuring herself:)
You’re good, Ashley. You’re good.

MARK
Think of something else.

ASHLEY
What does my mom say? “Redirect your energy.”

MARK
Wait--did she just smile at me?

ASHLEY
He does this weird thing when he’s thinking.

MARK
Of course she smiled. We just finished the project.

ASHLEY
He puts his lips together and crinkles his nose and looks like a baboon. It’s kind of adorable.

MARK
That was so not a “project is finished” smile.

ASHLEY
I think he likes me too.

MARK
I think she likes me too.

MARK & ASHLEY
(Beat.)
This is our first date!

MARK
And I’m wearing my aunt shirt!

ASHLEY
My face looks--

MARK
My great-aunt has no taste in shirts.

ASHLEY
Let’s not call it a zit. Let’s call it a “temporary imperfection.”

MARK
I love her to death, but I’ve never met anybody with so much tacky stuff.

ASHLEY
A really imperfect imperfection.

MARK
I shouldn’t pick out my clothes until I open my eyes all the way.

ASHLEY
If we use my phone, I could Photoshop [edit] that-

MARK
If I take it, I can Photoshop [edit] this shirt out.

ASHLEY & MARK
(To each other:)
I’ll take it.

ASHLEY
(To Mark:)
I think my phone has a better camera.

MARK
 
 
 
(To Ashley:)
They’re both about the same, and I...

(He waves his phone in the air to indicate that it’s already out. Beat. Both are again in their heads until otherwise noted.)

ASHLEY & MARK
I’m blowing it.

MARK
This is so gonna be my Waterford. Wait--that’s my mom’s china. Napoleon. Waterloo. Crap--I’m pretty sure I wrote Waterford on the test.

ASHLEY
Feasible, narcolepsy, eaglet. Sixth grade spelling bee words, go away. Barramundi.

MARK
At least I’m gonna get an A on this project.

ASHLEY
Crocodiles kill their prey by grabbing it in their jaws and twisting around and around, dragging it under the water and drowning it.

MARK
And an A+ for ruining our first date.

ASHLEY
It’s called a death roll.

MARK
Probably our last date.

ASHLEY
It seems slow and painful and horrible beyond all imagining.

MARK
I need to be bold. Mayday. Mayday.

ASHLEY
I am my own crocodile.

MARK
(To Ashley:)
Maybe...

ASHLEY
(To Mark:)
Yes...?

MARK
(To Ashley:)
I know we both want to selfie really bad.

ASHLEY
(Back in her head:)
Where’s he going with this...?

MARK
(To Ashley:)
But if we do it before we present, we might jinx it.

ASHLEY
Jinx it?
(In her head:)
That totally works!

MARK
(In his head:)
Please don’t hate me.

ASHLEY
(To Mark:)
Yeah. I think that makes sense.
 

ASHLEY
 
(In her head, simultaneously:)
He's perfect!
 
 

MARK
 
(In his head, simultaneously:)
She's perfect!
 
Co-Chair of the Alliance of Los Angeles
Playwrights
, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

Final Draft Resident Playwriting Expert and author of Playwriting101.com.

Resident Playwriting Expert of The Writers Store.





Recent News
World Premiere!!!
Me, My Selfie & I co-premiered at Lompoc High School (Lompoc, CA) and Westmont High School (Campbell, CA) at the end of September. This one-act with a flexible cast introduces us to a group of teens as they struggle to find the balance between documenting their lives and living them. 
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The Midnight Club is Now Published!
Read a sample of my latest play, the short comedy The Midnight Club, my teen monster-themed homage to the classic John Hughes 80s film. It's now published by Playscripts as part of a new collection, Scared Silly!
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Now available for purchase, two great webinars from yours truly! Each is nearly 90 minutes and packed with info (with a PowerPoint too!):
Playwriting 101:  Everything You Need to Know to Write a Play
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Upcoming Productions
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
KVCS Winslow Public School (Waterville, ME), November 2017
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Bethel High School (Hampton, VA), November 2017
 
4 A.M.
Starkville Academy (Starkville, MS), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Monte Vista Christian (Watsonville, CA), December 2017
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Tennessee High School (Bristol, TN), December 2017
 
Twisting Carol
EDHS Theatre (Placentia, CA), December 2017
 
From Shakespeare with Love?
Millennium Charter Academy High School (Mount Airy, NC), December 2017
 
Vital Organs
Coe-Brown Northwood Academy (Northwood, NH), December 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Nadia's Performance Studio (Wetherill Park, NSW, Australia), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Harding Middle School (Lakewood, OH), December 2017
 
After Math
Philip Barbour High School (Philippi, WV), December 2017
 
Rumors of Polar Bears (one-act)
Arlington Middle School (Poughkeepsie, NY), December 2017
 
The Midnight Club
Avon Middle High School (Avon, MA), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Lincoln High School (Manitowoc, WI), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck
Syracuse Arts Academy (Syracuse, UT), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Valley Southwoods IHSSA (West Des Moines, IA), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Atholton High School (Columbia, MD), January 2018
 
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
I.S. 75 - United Activities Unlimited (Staten Island, NY), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Garretson Schools (Garretson, SD), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
The Crefeld School (Philadelphia, PA), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Freehold High School (Freehold, NJ), January 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Nevada Theatre Department (Nevada, MO), January 2018
 
The Magic Hour
North Branch High School (North Branch, MI), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Pembina Trails School Division (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Trinity Episcopal (Austin, TX), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Redwood Valley High School (Redwood Falls, MN), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Berkhamsted School (Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom), January 2018
 
After Math
Palmer Ridge High School (Colorado Springs, CO), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Tigard High School (Tigard, OR), February 2018
 
The Magic Hour
Viking Theatre (Rock Hill, SC), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Thurso Players (Caithness, United Kingdom), February 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Montrose Area School District (Montrose, PA), March 2018
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Del Valle High School (Del Valle, TX), April 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Coakley Middle School Drama Club (Norwood, MA), June 2018
 
After Math
Pope John Paul II High School (Hendersonville, TN), November 2018
 
 
Great Expectations, or What I Did On My Summer Vacation: Next up, a ten-minute parody of Great Expectations to be part of YouthPLAYS' upcoming Lit on Fire anthology of high school reading list parodies.
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