Free Scenes - We're On A Mission

From Me, My Selfie & I


Two Teens at an upscale restaurant, crawling on the ground. Me, My Selfie and I will be published by YouthPLAYS after its premiere in Fall 2017.

(Warning: Using this scene without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.) 

FIRST TEEN
Just a little closer.

SECOND TEEN
This is so wrong on so many levels.

FIRST TEEN
People do it all the time.

SECOND TEEN
That doesn’t make it right.

FIRST TEEN
Just a few more steps.

SECOND TEEN
Steps?

FIRST TEEN
Crawls.

SECOND TEEN
How has nobody said anything?

FIRST TEEN
We’re blending. People are too busy enjoying their lobster crusted steak or whatever they’re eating. That and I slipped the waiter a Lincoln.

SECOND TEEN
A five?

FIRST TEEN
It’s all I had. He said he was gonna be making a tableside Caesar for four minutes and fifteen seconds, but after that, if he looked down and saw us, he was gonna have us thrown in the dumpster.

SECOND TEEN
The-- Thrown in the--

FIRST TEEN
Oh. I think he also said he was gonna call the police.

SECOND TEEN
Not the dumpster then.

FIRST TEEN
After the dumpster. We are kinda stalking.

SECOND TEEN
Why did I let you talk--

FIRST TEEN
Because you know that [pick a current music star] is my life. And being my best friend--

SECOND TEEN
I’m your best friend?

FIRST TEEN
Who else would--

SECOND TEEN
 
 
Amber [Artie].

FIRST TEEN
Is Amber [Artie] getting rug burns on her [his] knees, helping me achieve that one moment of total bliss that will come from a selfie with [first name of star]? Heck no.

SECOND TEEN
So we have four minutes and fifteen seconds before the wait--

FIRST TEEN
I heard someone call him Robert.

SECOND TEEN
Before Robert has us thrown in the dumpster and calls the cops.

FIRST TEEN
More like three now. Or two and a half. Oh no--they just brought back his credit card.

SECOND TEEN
He’s signing.

FIRST TEEN
His friend is getting up.

SECOND TEEN
It’s OK. We’ll cut them off. There’s only one route from his table to the door.

FIRST TEEN
Twenty feet. We can totally crawl twenty feet. We can do this.

(They crawl at a furious pace.)

SECOND TEEN
Yes, we can.
(Beat.)
What’s wrong with that woman?

FIRST TEEN
Which woman?

SECOND TEEN
The one who’s all--

(The Second Teen makes snorting, coughing, choking sounds.)

FIRST TEEN
That seems kind of rude at a nice restaurant.

(The First Teen alters trajectory.)

FIRST TEEN
Forty-five degree turn. Go.

SECOND TEEN
(Figuring it out:)
I think she’s choking.

FIRST TEEN
I knew geometry wasn’t totally worthless. Wait--what?

SECOND TEEN
She’s definitely choking.
(Beat.)
What do we do?

FIRST TEEN
That waiter in the corner will help her. He sees her.

SECOND TEEN
He’s getting [star’s first name]’s coat.

FIRST TEEN
No no no this can’t be happening.

SECOND TEEN
I took that weekend course at the Y.

FIRST TEEN
How fast can you save her?

(They crawl toward a table just offstage and then stand.)

SECOND TEEN
(Exiting toward the table:)
Ma’am, I know this looks weird, but I’m going to save you.

(The lights flicker. It’s now shortly afterward. Both teens are back onstage and look stuffed with food.)

FIRST TEEN
His [Her] music changed my life. I’ll probably never be that close again. I just wanted one picture.

SECOND TEEN
Lady’s gonna live. It was nice of her to buy us dinner--

SECOND TEEN
(Beat.)
No you won’t. You still got the music, right?
 
Co-Chair of the Alliance of Los Angeles
Playwrights
, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

Final Draft Resident Playwriting Expert and author of Playwriting101.com.

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Recent News
World Premiere!!!
Me, My Selfie & I co-premiered at Lompoc High School (Lompoc, CA) and Westmont High School (Campbell, CA) at the end of September. This one-act with a flexible cast introduces us to a group of teens as they struggle to find the balance between documenting their lives and living them. 
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The Midnight Club is Now Published!
Read a sample of my latest play, the short comedy The Midnight Club, my teen monster-themed homage to the classic John Hughes 80s film. It's now published by Playscripts as part of a new collection, Scared Silly!
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Now available for purchase, two great webinars from yours truly! Each is nearly 90 minutes and packed with info (with a PowerPoint too!):
Playwriting 101:  Everything You Need to Know to Write a Play
Writing Plays for Young People: How to Write for the Biggest Market Nobody Knows About

Upcoming Productions
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
KVCS Winslow Public School (Waterville, ME), November 2017
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Bethel High School (Hampton, VA), November 2017
 
4 A.M.
Starkville Academy (Starkville, MS), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Monte Vista Christian (Watsonville, CA), December 2017
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Tennessee High School (Bristol, TN), December 2017
 
Twisting Carol
EDHS Theatre (Placentia, CA), December 2017
 
From Shakespeare with Love?
Millennium Charter Academy High School (Mount Airy, NC), December 2017
 
Vital Organs
Coe-Brown Northwood Academy (Northwood, NH), December 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Nadia's Performance Studio (Wetherill Park, NSW, Australia), December 2017
 
4 A.M.
Harding Middle School (Lakewood, OH), December 2017
 
After Math
Philip Barbour High School (Philippi, WV), December 2017
 
Rumors of Polar Bears (one-act)
Arlington Middle School (Poughkeepsie, NY), December 2017
 
The Midnight Club
Avon Middle High School (Avon, MA), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Lincoln High School (Manitowoc, WI), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck
Syracuse Arts Academy (Syracuse, UT), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Valley Southwoods IHSSA (West Des Moines, IA), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Atholton High School (Columbia, MD), January 2018
 
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
I.S. 75 - United Activities Unlimited (Staten Island, NY), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Garretson Schools (Garretson, SD), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
The Crefeld School (Philadelphia, PA), January 2018
 
The Midnight Club
Freehold High School (Freehold, NJ), January 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Nevada Theatre Department (Nevada, MO), January 2018
 
The Magic Hour
North Branch High School (North Branch, MI), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Pembina Trails School Division (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Trinity Episcopal (Austin, TX), January 2018
 
4 A.M.
Redwood Valley High School (Redwood Falls, MN), January 2018
 
Me, My Selfie & I
Berkhamsted School (Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom), January 2018
 
After Math
Palmer Ridge High School (Colorado Springs, CO), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Tigard High School (Tigard, OR), February 2018
 
The Magic Hour
Viking Theatre (Rock Hill, SC), February 2018
 
4 A.M.
Thurso Players (Caithness, United Kingdom), February 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Montrose Area School District (Montrose, PA), March 2018
 
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Del Valle High School (Del Valle, TX), April 2018
 
High School (non) Musical
Coakley Middle School Drama Club (Norwood, MA), June 2018
 
After Math
Pope John Paul II High School (Hendersonville, TN), November 2018
 
 
Great Expectations, or What I Did On My Summer Vacation: Next up, a ten-minute parody of Great Expectations to be part of YouthPLAYS' upcoming Lit on Fire anthology of high school reading list parodies.
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