Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions

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Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions is published by Playscripts. Click the above button to open a new window and order a perusal copy or performance rights.

About The Play

Dramedy. Requires an ensemble of a minimum of 10-12 actors and a maximum of 30+ (most roles are gender flexible, though there should be at least 3-4 actors of each gender). 30-35 minutes. All settings are meant to be suggested. Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions premiered at the Springfield Academy of Arts and Academics (A3) in Springfield, OR,, directed by Mike Fisher. Special thanks also to Idyllwild Arts Academy, where the play was first read, and to Socorro High School (El Paso, TX), the second production of the play and my last stop before turning it over to Playscripts to publish.

Winner, Georgia Independent School Association State Class AA 2011 One-Act Play championship (Piedmont Academy, Monticello, GA).

The play has also been a winning choice for competitive forensics in dramatic interpretation, producing the Tennessee state runners-up in duo and the Georgia state champion in solo intepretation!

It has its own dedicated website at, where you'll find production notes, a study guide, and more testimonials and pictures!  You will also find a pair of optional alternate endings that amplify the connection between suicide and bullying.

"...poignant and timely..."--The Monticello News (Monticello, GA)

"In my 17 years of teaching, I have rarely found a script that has touched the cast, crew, student and adult audience in such a profound way. Upon our first reading of the play, our company stated that it was a play that we had to produce. My students felt like they needed to do this for their school."
--Troy Herbort, head of the Fine Arts Department, Socorro High School (El Paso, Texas)

"We were the first high school in Mississippi to perform this play. We enjoyed it because it played on a theme that the students could connect with and really learn from."
--Dr. Phil Burchfield, Superintendent, Clinton Public School District (Clinton, MS)

"Thank you for writing a delightful script that while humorous still brought home the seriousness of the issue of school bullying."
--Bruce Turner, Counselor, Royster Middle School (Chanute, Kansas)


Thank You for Flushing... uses scenes and monologues that range from the offbeat and wildly theatrical to quiet moments of heartbreak as it takes a look at one of the biggest problems facing teens today: bullying.

Achilles and Helen get picked on at school--a lot. Achilles has a regular date with a bully who flushes his head in the toilet, and Helen has become so afraid of the girls who ridicule her that she invents reasons to be late. So when cool girl Glinda appears and offers them a way out--she's their "bully buddy"--they jump at the chance. But Glinda's solution is to turn them into bullies. They both resist, and she sends them back to a school that is even worse than the one they left. Their only means of escape is to try it Glinda's way. But does saving themselves mean becoming the people who tormented them?


Read an Excerpt

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, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

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Upcoming Productions
4 A.M.
Twin Springs High School (Nickelsville, VA), October 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
Doveton College (Doveton, VIC, Australia), October 2014
Just Add Zombies
Sunrise Middle School (Scottsdale, AZ), October 2014
The Locker Next 2 Mine
Blue Valley North High School (Overland Park, KS), October 2014
4 A.M.
Kents Hills School (Kents Hill, ME), October 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
JL Long Middle School (Dallas, TX), October 2014
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Frank Day Middle School (Newton, MA), October 2014
4 A.M.
Coral Gables High School (Coral Gables, FL), October 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight
Spotlight Players (Canton, MI), October 2014

Just Add Zombies
Original Kids Theatre Company (London, ON, Canada), October 2014
4 A.M.
Fossil Ridge High School (Fort Collins, CO), October 2014
4 A.M.
Helena College Senior School (Glen Forrest, WA, Australia), October 2014
4 A.M.
John Milledge Academy (Milledgeville, GA), October 2014

The Locker Next 2 Mine (one-act version)
Sun Valley High School (Monroe, NC), October 2014
High School (non) Musical
Austin High School (Austin, IN), October 2014
Dear Chuck
Shaker Heights Middle School (Shaker Heights, OH), October 2014
Just Add Zombies
Connally High School (Waco, TX), October 2014
Rumors of Polar Bears (one-act)
Alma Bryant Theatre (Mobile, AL), November 2014
4 A.M.
Public Academy for Performing Arts (Albuquerque, NM), November 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
Union Scioto Local Schools (Chillicothe, OH), November 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight
Markesan School District (Markesan, WI), November 2014
Just Add Zombies
Atwell College (Perth, WA, Australia), November 2014
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Powhatan High School (Suffolk, VA), November 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
Cheney High School (Cheney, KS), November 2014
High School (non) Musical
Meridian High School (Decatur, IL), November 2014
Just Add Zombies
High Technology High School Performing Arts Club (Lincroft, NJ), November 2014
Run Like the Dickens
Polo Community High School (Polo, IL), November 2014
4 A.M.
SDA Drama Club (Syracuse, NE), November 2014
Harry's Hotter at Twilight
Arbor View High School (Las Vegas, NV), November 2014
After Math
Oak Hill Middle School (Newton Centre, MA), November 2014

Harry's Hotter at Twilight (one-act version)
Harry's Hotter at Twilight (Ashburnham, MA), November 2014
From Shakespeare with Love?
Creative Edge School of Arts (Abbotsford, BC, Canada), December 2014
Rumors of Polar Bears (full-length)
Olathe South High School (Olathe, KS), December 2014

Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Alexander Graham Middle School (Charlotte, NC), December 2014
Rumors of Polar Bears (full-length)
Fremont High School (Sunnyvale, CA), February 2015

Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
St. Roch CSS (Brampton, ON, Canada), May 2015
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