Free Monologues - Art

From Me, My Selfie & I


A Teen Artist of either gender presents their art. Me, My Selfie and I will be published by YouthPLAYS after its premiere in Fall 2017.

(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)

TEEN ARTIST

I call this “Godzilla eats Jane Simmons’ Face,” or when I get famous and the people who own the trademark for Godzilla come after me with their blood-sucking lawyers, it’ll become “Giant Dino-Lizard Bearing No Resemblance to a Certain Prehistoric Movie Franchise Monster that Fires Radioactive Beams from its Mouth Eats Jane Simmons’ Face.”
(Moving on:)
This one next to it is “Train Emerges from Cloud to Drive Through Liam Gardner’s Large Intestine.”
(Beat.)
I’m also quite proud of my natural disaster series.
(Pointing:)
Alex Gonzalez and Chris Johnson, showing off their perfect tans, only seconds from suffocation in “Unmelting Avalanche of Snow Buries Jock Jerks on Beach.” Alliteration is always awesome--sometimes I slay myself.
(Pointing:)
And here we see the entire marching band about to be annihilated by a hundred-foot tsunami wave of hydrochloric acid. I call it “The Entire Marching Band About to be Annihilated by a Hundred-Foot Tsunami Wave of Hydrochloric Acid.”
(Pointing:)
And my personal favorite, that horror show of self-involvement, Helen Holly, about to be incinerated beyond all recognition by a lava flow picking her off from atop the cheer pyramid.
(Beat.)
I’m also working on a Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse set and the complete Biblical plagues, though I’m worried there might be some overlap.
(Beat.)
People think I’m disturbed. I’m like no, this is my art. This is me expressing myself so that I don’t become disturbed. So what if everyone in the selfie is inches from an incredibly gruesome death. That’s art doing what it does best. I have to witness your daily acts of complete narcissism and I’m surviving. So get over it.
(The Artist selfies in front of the images.)

 
Co-Chair of the Alliance of Los Angeles
Playwrights
, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

Final Draft Resident Playwriting Expert and author of Playwriting101.com.

Resident Playwriting Expert of The Writers Store.





Recent News
World Premiere!!!
Me, My Selfie & I co-premiered at Lompoc High School (Lompoc, CA) and Westmont High School (Campbell, CA) at the end of September. This one-act with a flexible cast introduces us to a group of teens as they struggle to find the balance between documenting their lives and living them. 
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The Midnight Club is Now Published!
Read a sample of my latest play, the short comedy The Midnight Club, my teen monster-themed homage to the classic John Hughes 80s film. It's now published by Playscripts as part of a new collection, Scared Silly!
Playwriting Webinars!
Now available for purchase, two great webinars from yours truly! Each is nearly 90 minutes and packed with info (with a PowerPoint too!):
Playwriting 101:  Everything You Need to Know to Write a Play
Writing Plays for Young People: How to Write for the Biggest Market Nobody Knows About

Upcoming Productions
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Robert Morgan Senior High (Miami, FL), October 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Buckingham High School (Buckingham, VA), October 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Munford Middle School (Munford, AL), November 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
KVCS Winslow Public School (Waterville, ME), November 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Nadia's Performance Studio (Wetherill Park, NSW, Australia), December 2017
 
After Math
Philip Barbour High School (Philippi, WV), December 2017
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Hillard City School District (Columbus, OH), January 2018
 
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Trinity Episcopal (Austin, TX), January 2018
 
 
Stay Tuned...: Several new plays are in the works... 
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