Free Monologues - Toy Boatin

From High School (non) Musical


Toy Boatin is the bowling star of Roswell High, and in this monologue, he's complaining to Gaberella, his would-be girlfriend, about all the pressure he's under.  High School (non) Musical, my parody of Disney's High School Musical, is published by Playscripts.  Click here to order a copy.

(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)

TOY

Sometimes I wish the aliens would take over my brain and change me into someone else.
(beat)

Do you know how hard it is sometimes? Like my locker--I have a special locker next to my regular locker just for my ball, and twice daily hand and arm massages--you know how much pressure that puts on a guy?
(beat)

I love bowling. But couldn’t I be Toy the bowler-singer-actor-secret agent-Presidential candidate-race car driver-Iron chef-astronaut-engineer-lawyer-doctor-poet-fireman? Would that be so bad?
(beat)

I know it’s selfish, but sometimes I just wish I had something easier, you know, like I was homeless and didn’t know where I was gonna sleep tonight, or where my next meal was coming from. Or my Dad got drunk and hit me or I had no money to pay for college or I was a refugee in Darfur. Or like feeling totally alone cause my best friend killed himself or I was gay and thought my parents would suddenly reject me as their kid or maybe have an eating disorder or an addiction, you know? ‘Cause those would be so much easier than this bowling thing.

 
Co-Chair of the Alliance of Los Angeles
Playwrights
, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

Final Draft Resident Playwriting Expert and author of Playwriting101.com.

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