Free Monologues - Bluebird

From Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions

Bluebird may be performed by a teenage student of either gender.  Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions, my widely performed play about bullying, is published by Playscripts.  Click here to order a copy.

(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)


There’s a birdbath in my yard. In the back. We get robins, sparrows, pigeons. A lot
of pigeons. Sometimes there’s a cardinal. And squirrels. Yeah, I know they’re not birds, but maybe the squirrels think they are. I mean there’s flying squirrels--right? I’ve never seen one, but flying squirrels exist. Right?
I like watching the birds. The real birds. The way they all kinda twitch their heads forward,(demonstrates a pecking motion)
It’s like they’re talking to each other. Saying how’s your day and how’s the weather and would you like worms with that order? Sometimes when I’m bored, I make up what they’d say. Like this one pigeon, he’s complaining about his taxes to a sparrow, and the sparrow’s like, “dude, maybe if you spent more time working and less time looking for handouts in the park...”
I’m supposed to put water in the birdbath once a week. Today's my day. And the birds are there talking about the weather and their kids and there’s a duck talking about how his cousin bought the farm and got served up in orange sauce last week. And the other birds are saying how sad that is and how sorry they are, only this one bird’s not talking. He’s not even in the bath. He’s wet, like he was there, but he’s not in there. He’s on the ground under the bath, and he’s trying to hop up, only he can’t. There’s something wrong with his left wing. He can’t flap it like the right one. And he’s spinning around in a circle, like he’s break dancing--only he’s not.
I go over to the bath, and they all scatter when I get close. Except for the break dancing bird. It’s a bluebird--I don’t remember when I’ve ever seen a bluebird in our backyard, and now there’s one spinning like a merry-go-round under the birdbath. He’s beautiful. He’s flapping his right wing like crazy, but the poor little guy can’t go anywhere. And he’s going nuts when I pick him up in my hands. I hold him real tight so he doesn’t scratch me, and I’ve got my thumb and finger around his neck to keep him from biting. “Don’t worry, little bird. I’ve got you.” And I hold him.
The phone rings in the house. I’m the only one home, but I don’t move. I’ve got this beautiful, living thing in my hands, and that’s more important than--
The longer I hold him, the less he fights. He knows he’s safe. I’m like the Dr. Doolittle of my backyard.
And then I start to squeeze my finger and thumb together. Around his neck. Around its neck. Tighter and tighter. The bluebird starts going crazy. I know it can’t breathe, and I don’t stop. I keep going--because I can. I keep going until it-- It feels good. It feels good, because for once in my life, I’m not the bird.

Co-Chair of the Alliance of Los Angeles
, member of The Dramatists Guild of America, and life member of the Philadelphia Dramatists Center.

Final Draft Resident Playwriting Expert and author of

Resident Playwriting Expert of The Writers Store.

Recent News
World Premiere!!!
Me, My Selfie & I co-premiered at Lompoc High School (Lompoc, CA) and Westmont High School (Campbell, CA) at the end of September. This one-act with a flexible cast introduces us to a group of teens as they struggle to find the balance between documenting their lives and living them. 
Take My Online Playwriting Course!
Want to study playwriting from the comfort of your home, workplace or anywhere at all?  In Introduction to Playwriting, you'll get all of the basics of playwriting and be well on your way to writing a new play, but you don't even have to get out of bed if you don't want to!  Look for a new session this summer.  Get more information and enroll here:
The Midnight Club is Now Published!
Read a sample of my latest play, the short comedy The Midnight Club, my teen monster-themed homage to the classic John Hughes 80s film. It's now published by Playscripts as part of a new collection, Scared Silly!
Playwriting Webinars!
Now available for purchase, two great webinars from yours truly! Each is nearly 90 minutes and packed with info (with a PowerPoint too!):
Playwriting 101:  Everything You Need to Know to Write a Play
Writing Plays for Young People: How to Write for the Biggest Market Nobody Knows About

Upcoming Productions
High School (non) Musical
Nevada Theatre Department (Nevada, MO), January 2018
The Magic Hour
North Branch High School (North Branch, MI), January 2018
Me, My Selfie & I
Pembina Trails School Division (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada), January 2018
Dear Chuck (one-act version)
Trinity Episcopal (Austin, TX), January 2018
4 A.M.
Redwood Valley High School (Redwood Falls, MN), January 2018
Me, My Selfie & I
Berkhamsted School (Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom), January 2018
After Math
Palmer Ridge High School (Colorado Springs, CO), February 2018
4 A.M.
Tigard High School (Tigard, OR), February 2018
The Magic Hour
Viking Theatre (Rock Hill, SC), February 2018
4 A.M.
Thurso Players (Caithness, United Kingdom), February 2018
High School (non) Musical
Montrose Area School District (Montrose, PA), March 2018
Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions
Del Valle High School (Del Valle, TX), April 2018
From Shakespeare with Love?
Bad Theatre Co. (Asuncion, Paraguay), May 2018
High School (non) Musical
Coakley Middle School Drama Club (Norwood, MA), June 2018
After Math
Pope John Paul II High School (Hendersonville, TN), November 2018
Great Expectations, or What I Did On My Summer Vacation: Next up, a ten-minute parody of Great Expectations to be part of YouthPLAYS' upcoming Lit on Fire anthology of high school reading list parodies.
Plays for Production
Free Monologues
Young Playwrights 101
Script Consulting
About Me
Connect With Me
Starting out as a writer? Get help by clicking here. You'll find playwriting instructional tips, links to young playwrights contests, sample query and cover letters and even a suggested reading list!
Can't figure out why your script isn't working? I can help. For a reasonable rate, I will give you detailed feedback to get your project back on track.

Click here for information.